This article by Scott Berinato of the HBR explores the different types of grief we are collectively experiencing in the face of this pandemic.
There is a storm coming. There’s something bad out there. With a virus, this kind of grief is so confusing for people. Our primitive mind knows something bad is happening, but you can’t see it. This breaks our sense of safety.
We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively.
Finding ways to name what we are feeling, to speak it and ask for help, empowers us to experience and then move through the emotion. As the David Kessler states in the interview, “Emotion needs motion.” Kessler suggests grounding and mindfulness techniques to help calm overwhelming anxiety and re-center ourselves in the present and on the aspects of this situation which we can control.
As the number of cases of COVID-19 increase, so does our collective anxiety. It can be difficult to know what tomorrow, next week, or next month will bring. This lack of expectations and being unable to plan can heighten anxiety. Routines we may have worked hard to build and which support our work-life balance and mental health are thrown off. And many of us find ourselves isolated from our usual social supports.
In the video below, clinical psychologist Dr. Alli Mattu addresses important coping skills for working from home, social distancing without feeling isolated, and managing information related to the COVID-19 public health crisis without feeling overwhelmed.
The following additional resources can help individuals and communities navigate this stressful time. Remember, we're all in this together.
CDC: COVID-19 Resources
Latest updates, tips and resources by the US Centers for Disease Control.
Living With Mental Illness During COVID-19 Outbreak– Preparing For Your Wellness
This webpage provides information and wellness tips for individuals living with mental health conditions during the COVID-19 outbreak.
Mental health and wellness during a public health crisis
Dr. LaGenia Bailey, a former DBSA board member, discusses tips on how to stay well during this public health crisis. In this podcast, she addresses the benefits of mindfulness practice, lifestyle habits, and ways to stay connected with others to avoid isolation.
COVID-19 Mental Health Support Line: 833-986-1919
Texas Health and Human Services has launched a 24/7 statewide mental health support line to help Texans experiencing anxiety, stress or emotional challenges due to the COVID-19 pandemic. People can call the Statewide COVID-19 Mental Health Support Line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week toll-free at 833-986-1919. Operated by the Harris Center for Mental Health and IDD, the support line offers trauma-informed support and psychological first aid to those experiencing stress and anxiety related to COVID-19.
Seven Crucial Research Findings that can Help People Deal with COVID-19
Psychological research on past crises can help people cope with the daily — sometimes hourly — news flashes about the coronavirus.
How to Transition to Seeing Your Therapist Online
Continue the work of therapy even from a distance. (And yes, Dr. Novinski offers sessions via Telehealth.)
Psychologists’ Advice for Newly Remote Workers
As employers close offices to slow the spread of COVID-19, here’s advice from I/O psychologists on how both managers and employees can work more effectively during this time.
If you need assistance finding food, paying for housing bills, accessing free childcare, or other essential services, visit 211.org or dial 211 to speak to someone who can help. Run by the United Way.
COVID-19 Ancillary Costs
The HealthWell Foundation announced a COVID-19 Fund that provides up to $250 in assistance with ancillary costs associated with COVID-19. Grants awarded through the fund will provide reimbursement assistance to at risk or quarantined individuals for delivered food, medication, telehealth copays and transportation costs associated with COVID-19.
Care for your Coronavirus Anxiety
Meditations and Calming Exercises
National Domestic Violence Hotline
For any victims and survivors who need support, call 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-7233 for TTY, or if you’re unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 22522.
Talking to Kids about the Coronavirus
The Parent Guide to Resilience
Yale University's The Science of Well-Being
Yale's most popular class is now free online via Coursera. The course focuses on how to increase happiness and productivity in your everyday life.
University of Pennsylvania: Positive Psychology Resilience Skills
I often say that the importance of sleep should be covered in Volume 1 of So You've Decided to go to Therapy.
The link between sleep and mood has been seen over and over in research. People with insomnia are 10 times as likely to have clinical depression and 17 times as likely to have clinical anxiety as those who sleep normally. We have long known that sleep difficulties are symptomatic of depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. New research is revealing that the relationship between sleep and our physical and mental health is much more complex -- and malleable. For example, the more a person experiences difficulty sleeping and the more frequently they wake at night as a result, the higher the chances of developing depression even if they did not struggle with depression before.
More research is being conducted on factors that contribute to difficulty falling and staying asleep, or to shifting nighttime routines. Many studies have explored the connection between screen time (i.e., blue light exposure) and sleep difficulties. The readily available connection to work, social connections, entertainment, and distraction that come from our computers and phones carries with it implications for our sleep and thereby our physical and mental health.
Some clever IT professionals and start-ups have found a way to turn technology in our favor when it comes to sleep. Apps like Headspace and Calm have skyrocketed to the top of the Apple App and Google Play stores, due in no small part to their audio features that aid users in falling and staying asleep.
If you find that you struggle with getting good quality sleep, consider these sleep hygiene recommendations from the National Sleep Foundation:
Think about (or discuss in therapy!) ways in which you can actively work to prioritize your sleep to help improve your physical and mental health.
I am amassing quite a collection of therapy memes. Who knew this would be a thing? My favorite part of this trend is that most of the images you see above are screenshots sent to me by patients. I love that we are able to share a sense of humor and laugh together. I say this as an inroad to breaking down some of the anxiety around entering therapy. Especially if you are entering therapy for the first time, that anxiety typically occurs in the face of the unknown. What will therapy be like? What can I expect? Will I have to lie down on a couch? Will my therapist say "tell me about your mother?" Will my therapist just silently stare at me?
Colorado therapist Kelsey Shane says of therapy:
You may cry, you'll probably laugh, you'll definitely grow!
Therapy looks a bit different for each individual, and for each individual therapist. I do have a couch, but it's really more of a love seat. Most people are comfy but do not actually lie down. Sometimes people come to therapy for help in dealing with a very specific situation, for example, coping with a loss, making decisions about moving forward during a time of transition, or managing anxiety related to social situations. Others seek therapy to understand and shift long-standing problematic behavior or relationship patterns. Sometimes we do in fact talk about mom. Sometimes we game-plan how to resolve conflict at work or at home. Sometimes we practice mindfulness and specific breathing exercises to reduce the frequency and severity of panic attacks. Sometimes we unpack puzzling dreams. Sometimes we draw connections to books and films (our cultural mythology). I know a perhaps surprising number of my patients' Hogwarts houses and how others relate their own origin stories or redemption arcs to characters in the MCU. We do sometimes cry, we often laugh, and I am privileged to witness growth on a daily basis.
If you have more questions or would like to learn a bit more about the process of therapy, you might enjoy the video below by psychologist, Dr. Ali Mattu in which he answers commonly Googled questions about therapy.
As psychologist Guy Winch explains, "Much as accountants' busiest time of year is tax season in April, we therapists see our practices overflow in November and December. Why? ‘Tis the season of family gatherings."
Family gatherings have the potential to help us feel connected and loved, but even within the best of family dynamics, cooking, cleaning, and coordinating schedules can be stressful. And the fact of the matter is that not every family shares the best dynamics on display in Hallmark Holiday Specials. Family gatherings can bring old wounds to the surface, and leave many feeling less connected, less understood, and alone despite the holiday crowds. For those who live far from family and friends, singles, and those who are newly separated, divorced or grieving, the family-focused holidays can be a painful and lonely time. Add these factors to the days getting shorter, the weather colder, spending less time outdoors in the sun, and it is easy to understand how the holidays can leave us feeling stressed out and blue.
The following resources can help you survive and thrive through this holiday season:
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed with stress or sadness, know that you are not alone. Talking with a therapist about coping with the holidays specifically, or untangling long-standing relationship patterns, can be useful and help you move through the holidays and into the new year with less stress, more understanding of yourself and others, and more skills to navigate this time of year with more grace and less stress in the future.
Heads Together is a UK campaign, spearheaded by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry to end stigma around mental health. This week the campaign released a video of the Duke, Duchess and Prince discussing their support of the mental health initiative.
The Heads Together campaign has partnered with this weekend's London Marathon to help raise awareness and encourage people to speak up about and prioritize their mental health (all the runners will be given Heads Together headbands, modeled by the Royal Family above).
“Since we launched Heads Together last May, we have seen time and time again that shattering stigma on mental health starts with simple conversations. When you realise that mental health problems affect your friends, neighbours, children and spouses, the walls of judgement and prejudice around these issues begin to fall. And we all know that you cannot resolve a mental health issue by staying silent."
Here in the US, the OK to Say campaign has been working to encourage people to talk openly about mental health. So often people do not ask for or seek out the help that they need because of stigma. Sharing our stories and working as a community to encourage one another and share resources can improve and save lives.
If you are interested in continuing this conversation and showing your support, consider joining the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) annual Dallas NAMI Walks 5k coming up in on May 13.
Journaling can be an invaluable resource for therapy. When someone describes an unusually good (or bad) day in session, I often ask them to reflect on what was different. Answers of "I don't know." or "Nothing, I think." are supremely frustrating in that they leave a person feeling helpless, as though a good or bad day comes out of the blue or passes them by completely outside of their control. More often than not, there are concrete things someone did, thought, or felt that either contributed to a better day or perhaps kept a bad day or experience from "taking over" or becoming unmanageable.
Take for example the few pounds we all may or may not have added over the holidays. We can be perplexed when we look at the scale now and wonder, "How did that happen?" But we also know that people who log everything that they eat or drink 1) tend to eat and drink more mindfully and healthily, and 2) can readily identify that pumpkin cheesecake or second helping that likely added to the scale come January. Journaling can provide that level of insight for your mental health.
Identifying patterns can be empowering and can provide you with your own individual data on what works, and what doesn't, what contributes to a great week, and what behaviors, skills, and experiences help you nip anxiety or depression in the bud. This process can help you clarify thoughts and feelings and solve problems more effectively.
Journaling can improve your body as well as your mind. University of Texas social psychologist and researcher, James Pennebaker has found that regular journaling strengthens immune cells (lymphocytes). A study published in Advances in Psychiatric Treatment noted improvements in both physical and psychological health in clinical and non-clinical groups after just 3-5 15-20 minute journaling sessions. Other research suggests that journaling offers not just emotional, but physical benefits to individuals battling terminal or life-threatening illnesses. Perhaps we see these benefits because, as Pennebaker suggests, writing about stressful events helps you come to terms with them and reduces the impact of these stressors on your physical health. Remind you of therapy? Journaling and therapy can beautifully complement one another. The work that you do journaling over the week can build on the momentum, insights, and positive changes you are developing in therapy.
How to begin? When many people hear "journal," the embarrassing teenage diary tucked away in a sock drawer comes to mind. But a journal can be much more than a diary (or much less, if you like), and there as many ways to keep a journal as there are journal-ers. For those who don't fancy themselves writers, or who feel overwhelmed at where to begin, the Bullet Journal developed by Ryder Carroll offers a streamlined way of tracking daily activities, including mental health.
What to journal? In addition to logging events and experiences, a journal can be used to track moods, how you feel physically (e.g., energy level, headaches), behaviors that can affect your mental and physical health (e.g., sleep, exercise, taking vitamins and medications), and self-care (e.g., socializing, meditation). Tracking can provide valuable data and trends to discuss in therapy. You may also find it useful to include post-therapy session notes (e.g., insights, reminders, topics to discuss or come back to next session).
Adding space for a gratitude journal can provide time and space to reflect on positive thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a way that can actually help re-train your brain to more readily identify (rather than discount) positive experiences.
Including self-care ideas for when you notice triggers or early signs of depression or anxiety can help you easily identify tried and true methods to change course or help manage those negative feelings before they become overwhelming.
Here are some additional tips to get you started:
Make it yours. Your journal can be as minimalistic and straightforward or artistic and detailed as you want. Are you the type of person (this month) who delights in a To Do list? Or does a listing these tasks and obligations bring you additional stress? If so, you may find you are better served by a "Done" list. Find your own style and what works best for you. The beauty of making a journal your own is that it can change with you from week to week, and month to month. Build on what works for you, and leave what does not behind without guilt (recognizing each of these is progress in and of itself!).
Finally, I'm personally a proponent of putting pen to paper. One of the benefits of a journal that you physically create yourself is that you have complete control in customizing it to fit your needs as opposed to having pre-printed pages that you don't love or use in a day planner or maintaining multiple tracking apps. That said, if a physical journal just feels too analog for your life, there are a number of apps out there that track habits, moods, and provide space for journaling. Just be aware of protecting your privacy and online presence if you choose a digital route.
Additional Journaling Resources:
BulletJournal.com offers a videos, tips, and tutorials on how to start a bullet journal.
Rachel Wilkerson Miller and Anna Borges at Buzzfeed offer a lighthearted and insightful collection of ways to use journaling to track and improve your mental health.
Steven Stosney at Psychology Today, describes the research on the results of journaling and gives tips for reaping the benefits of journaling while avoiding the pitfalls.
This divisive political season and election have heightened anxiety throughout the US. A Harris Poll on behalf of the American Psychological Association found that 52 percent of American adults report that the 2016 election is a very or somewhat significant source of stress (read more here).
As we attempt as a country to come together with respect, compassion, and courage, psychologist Guy Winch gives us concrete advice on overcoming post-election anxiety. "Regardless of its source, anxiety tends to operate in similar ways, which means there are clear things you can do to manage post-election anxiety." Guy has recommendations on actions you can take now to begin lowering your anxiety. Read his full article here:
Three Ways to Lower Post-Election Anxiety
And remember, "sitting with emotional distress of any kind is neither wise nor necessary. If you feel upset, unsettled, and anxious—take action and make decisions that prioritize your emotional health and make you feel better."
You can also view Guy's viral TED Talk on boosting emotional health below.
Take care of yourself and one another out there.
With the holidays fast approaching, this can be a good time to pause and reflect on why this season of thanksgiving and joy can often be so stressful. Do you find yourself anxiously working to anticipate every detail or need in attempt to orchestrate the perfect holiday, the perfect family get together, the perfect scrapbook moment? Or are you pulled by the gnawing suspicion that no matter how hard you try, how badly you want this year to be different, that things will go wrong. Again. Just as they have so many times before?
When you find yourself pulled between these two intense emotional states and expectations, it can be easy to blame yourself for what has or what will go wrong, to feel or anticipate feeling blamed by others, or to blame others for behaving in what feels like a predictable destructive pattern.
Author researcher and storyteller Brené Brown offers wise words on the underlying meaning and fallout of this tendency to rush to blame. By blaming ourselves or others we attempt to regain a sense of control, but we also lose out on opportunities and relationships in the process.
Many who struggle with social anxiety can tell you that anxiety creates a vicious cycle. The mere thought of interacting with others and imagining how others might negatively judge or evaluate them creates often overwhelming anxiety. If they enter a social interaction in this anxious state they may find themselves more likely to have difficulty joining conversation or interacting comfortably with others. This may bring about uncomfortable social interactions and real or perceived negative evaluations by others, which serves to confirm their fears and may lead them to withdraw from this and future social interactions.
While a reported 7% of the population struggles with social anxiety, the anxiety and fear of judgement often prevents people from reaching out for help. This is particularly a shame as social anxiety responds well to a variety of therapeutic interventions.
But new research by Jennifer Trew and Lynn Alden published in the journal Motivation and Emotion suggests that acts of kindness may effectively break the cycle of social anxiety. In this study, socially anxious participants focused on their own active positive role in a social interaction (performing an act of kindness) and on the other as someone in need, rather than on how they imagined others might respond to or judge them. This led to positive reinforcement in the interaction during which others responded positively to the participants with gratitude, which in turn challenged the participants' negative expectations for this and future social interactions. The participants who engaged in positive social interactions related to their acts of kindness were significantly less likely to avoid social interactions in the weeks that followed. It's a win-win!
Read more about Trew and Alden's study here.
Learn more about social anxiety and social phobia here.
About the Author
Clinical psychologist Dr. Kristy Novinski contributes insights, book and film reviews, discussions of pop culture, and exploration of news and research in the field of psychology.